Dec 27, 2017

• I have a name and it isn’t “Baby, Sweetheart, Dear, Darling, Love, Sweet, or any other word that is not my name. You can add to that all the vulgar words you like to use. Don’t use them.
• If I have a PhD and unless I know you very well, you are not allowed to drop my title. You can address me as Doctor _____  or Professor ______. Violating this is a felony charge in California. I worked hard for my degree. I don’t care that it intimidates you.
• I am introduced as Dr. _____ to establish that I am not the Secretary or Admin. I will not be fetching your coffee.
• If I do not have a PhD but am married, I am introduced as Mrs. _____ to establish that I am taken. I will not be fetching your coffee.
• Do not flirt with me.
• Do not hug me.
• Do not try to hold my hand.
• Do not touch my hair.
• Do not grab my arm.
• Do not try to kiss me.
• Do not slap or pinch my butt. I will return the favor and it won’t be pretty.
• Do not run to catch an elevator I am using unless others are also on the elevator.
• You may hold a door for me – and I may hold a door for you. It’s a courtesy—not a seduction.
• You may say hello or good morning but what I did last night or over the weekend is not any of your business.
• Do not tell me the latest dirty joke.
• Do not look me directly in the eyes. It’s not happening.
• Do not lean into me to whisper something—it promotes a wrong idea.
• Do not offer me a ride if my car breaks down in the parking lot. I have AAA. I can ride with the wrecker.
• Do not make comments about my hair, face, dress, shoes, or any other thing attached to me or any other part of my body at the office, workplace, and especially in a meeting. Repeat this often. Your opinion does not matter.
• Do not drag me into a conference room. One on one meetings are not acceptable. (They need to be forbidden.) A third party must be present. It could be construed as kidnapping.
• Do not ask or research to find out my age. That is none of your business. It can be construed as an assault.
• Do not help me in or out of my coat. You shouldn’t be that close to me.
• Do not adjust yourself in public. The workplace is not the ball field.
• Do not mention anything about any of your body parts. I don’t care to know.
• I’d better never see them. It would not be pretty.
• DO NOT RAPE ME. That would be the last thing you ever did. It really would not be pretty. (Trust me. I would become very stabby. You would need a new job—after you recovered and finished serving time.)
• Just remember. The workplace is not the local strip joint or the local dive bar. Leave your bad manners in those places.
• Women in the office are there to work. They are professionals. They deserve to have you follow these rules.
• If you are unable to control your urges, there’s a pill for that.